My New Blog

Ok so this is my last post in this Blog. Of course this does not mean that i have stopped blogging altogether. It is just that i found Wordpress more user friendly. So i have switched over to that. SO u can find my entire blog....that is all that u will find here and all that has taken place since and all that will take place in the future. SO if u want to go to my actual blog, click on the following:

Rectilinear Redemption

Cya at Wordpress

A Formal Notice.

This is to declare that I am now officially polluted. And i dont have any qualms about it.

I leave it to you to infer it's meaning...

PS: My lungs are still clean.

But after all, maybe not……

So here I am, again. In the same old state that I have always been at the end of every semester exam. Filled with that feeling that I could have done much better. But this time there is something more to the story. It’s not just the guilt I hold about not putting in the required efforts. This time it is something more fundamental. It was something that I had assumed and taken for granted as part of me. But only to be proved wrong this time around.

Ever since I was able to think for myself, I have always been proud and happy about my grasping power and my intelligence. When I was a kid, there was nobody who could beat me in academics. I was the topper all the way. And as I grew up, I don’t know where things slipped out of my hands, but I began to witness my own decline into obscurity. I began to be just a shadow of the genius that I was. That brilliance, that zeal in me, slowly began to desert me. And I was left staring and gasping at all the horrid results that have gone my way ever since. There have been some opportunities for me to start all over again. But then I blew them all. Absolutely no enthusiasm in working for what would give me some success in whatever I was doing. I had no identity anywhere I went. I tried a few new things so I could start anew. But same old story. Things just seemed to end up in the drain.

And all the time I have spent days together introspecting and trying to find an answer to why all this was happening. And everytime I analyzed the things that had gone against me, I always ended up with the same inference. Mea Culpa. It was my own fault. There was no other explanation that could satisfy and explain all my failures for such a long time. My lack of discipline and my laziness to work had taken toll over all my success. My unwillingness to be regular had cost me dear on more than one crucial occasion. The mind control that I possessed, or to be more precise, the lack of it had dealt a fatal blow everytime I thought that I could somehow ‘pull it off’. Procrastination killed my spirit-every damn day of my life. And still here I am, still believing that I can pull it off from nowhere-just by my brilliance and intelligence!

And that was what I always hung on to like a life saver. I always believed that it was only the lack of my effort into studies that cost me all this. And that “if I studied”, I would be way ahead of others. Why? Simply because I was far more intelligent than all the guys around me and that I “would have studied”. But that never ever materialized. Semesters came and went, exams came and went, tests came and went, free time came and went but during all that time, there I was- just convincing myself-“don’t worry…if you study, you will be able to understand it.” And that IF never became anything else. I never studied and I still believed that I deserved the better grades simply because I knew I was the only one who was actually interested in the subject and that all others were just doing it just for the sake of it. But I never bothered to work. And I got depressed everytime I got my grades. Why the hell was I complaining? I don’t study anything and I expect good grades! Now how does that make sense?

And so all this time I have been blaming nothing but myself for all the failures that have taken place. I never held anyone or anything responsible for me screwing up my stuff. And all this time I genuinely believed that I was still capable of it- if I worked that is. I have been hanging on to that belief for dear life. And like I was saying, the only difference this semester was that my belief was proved wrong.

And that has rendered me desperate. It had been my lifeline for all these years of struggle and misery. And now I don’t even have that now. All I have with me is this new realization that I am not someone special. That I am just like any other. Maybe above average, but nothing more. I may have all the genuine interest in the world and I may know how to exactly lead one’s life. But what I also know now, is that none of that will count if I don’t actually do something about it. That one identity that I was still hanging on to is now officially invalid. Losing that one identity pained so much that I have become numb to it. There is nothing more in this life. And all I got right now with me is that true interest in my studies. But of course, this is an interest without the ability. And until something happens that makes me realize that I am indeed capable, I guess I have to live just with the interest.

So all this time I thought I was capable of so big things. But after all, maybe not……

A Chat on LAN

Ok guys...this one here is something that took place last night. I switched on my computer and logged into the local sharing network. IT is called DC++.There are about 250 computer users interlinked with this network. And there is this chat window where anyone can interact with the others. And as soon as I logged in, there was this small chat that was going on among 2-3 guys. And soon I found that it was quite humorous and interesting. The following is the text of that chat. But i have to warn you that it turned very explicit and indecent in the process. SO if you feel offended then please dont read ahead. By the way, please dont frame any opinion about me with what you read below.

There were 6 guys-[Maladroit], [Anonymous],[Bo],[Cursor],[Necromancer] and [Silver]. [Shanky] joined in later in the end and made it really vulgar. So the chat session was wound up soon after. You will find a lot of F-words and other really horrible and very offensive stuff. So once again i warn you that you might not like it. Anyway, I dont really expect anyone to make any sense out of the following. But i had some of the best times during this chat. I almost died laughing. I will start with the chat already in progress as i was not able to get the entire chat. So here goes:-

[Cursor] Yeah. Maybe the space was just enough?

[Maladroit] what was the first word that cursor learnt to spell?-

[Anonymous] sadf....sadfsag....sagha;lhglhasgl;khs;lakhg.......

[N00B_Silver] Cursor to Mom: Click Click

[Anonymous] -

[Cursor] Okay, that would be the answer to your question, Maladroit.

[Cursor] XD

[Bo] i dunno...was it googoo gaga?

[Cursor] Heh.

[Cursor] I meant the sadf...

[Maladroit] cursor finally got it right-

[Maladroit] heh

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymous] cursors first word was [Cursor] Heh.

[Bo] anonymous sure has an identity crisis

[Anonymous] [Bo] anonymous sure has an identity crisis

[Anonymouse] Yeah, I'll say

[Bo] as i said...

[Cursor] Wohoo!!

[Bo] he proved tht

[Anonymouse] [Anonymous] [Bo] anonymous sure has an identity crisis

[Cursor] Super.

[Maladroit] what the F**** is that?-

[Anonymouse] lol

[Anonymous] [Anonymouse] heh

[Bo] silver,tht has to b u!

[Anonymouse] wrong spelling man

[Cursor] =O F word!

[Anonymouse] F*** not F****

[Cursor] *f-word*?

[Cursor] Shit.

[Anonymouse] betta

[Anonymous] [Anonymouse]wrong spelling man

[Bo] change bak to silver..the brightness is lost!!

[Cursor] Stop frigging censoring me!

[Anonymouse] *f-word*

[Bo] beep

[Cursor] Yeah. And bring on the underwear as well.

[Bo] the attack of the underwear clad morons led by captain underpants

[Cursor] How's f@ck?

[Bo] captain underwear with the pink underwear on top...superhero style

[Anonymouse] fack?

[Bo] duck?

[Anonymouse] eminem huh

[Anonymouse] *f-word*

[Anonymouse] sucker

[Anonymous] [Anonymouse] eminem heh

[Darklord] wat the *f-word*

[Anonymouse] Ah.... that works

[Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymouse] lol, lets overload the filter system

[Darklord] *f-word*

[Cursor] Yay!

[Anonymouse] *f-word*

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymouse] Noo.....

[Bo] hmmm...looks like the hub is alive and kicking!

[Darklord] fcukkkkkkkkkk

[Anonymous] [Anonymouse] Yes...Yessssssss.............Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..............

[Cursor] loss for words part!!-

[Bo] kcuf?

[Anonymouse] heh

[Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymous] kcuf?

[Cursor] x_X

[Bo] oh god,anonymous..ur slow as well

[Anonymous] X_x

[Maladroit] dont drink water fish fcuk there-

[Bo] aiyooo

[Anonymous] Yes

[Cursor] x_O?

[Cursor] Black eye.

[Cursor] XD

[Bo] whack on balls

[Anonymous] coz im heh ......hehhhhh.............heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh.................ing

[Cursor] Heh.

[Maladroit] is that ur fav pastime cursor?-

[Cursor] Three in 10 minutes! I commend you, Anonyous

[Maladroit] no i am not talking abt blinking-

[Anonymous] [Cursor] X_o?

[Cursor] Heh. Other than Hehing?

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Ill go to classes with anonymous

[Cursor] For free?

[Cursor] Wait. I want a claification made.

[Bo] okay

[Cursor] I'm NOT a keyboard , so I'm obviously not your type.

[Anonymous] [Cursor] No you have to pay me with what u get after the classes end hhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

[Cursor] Eh?

[Cursor] Gimme back my Heh!

[Maladroit] take that cursor-

[Anonymous] [Cursor] heh

[Anonymous] take it heh

[Cursor] Ugh.

[Maladroit] hey guys cursor "took" it!-

[Cursor] Yeah?

[Anonymous] [Cursor]u asked for it

[Maladroit] where is bo?-

[Cursor] Er.. Whadda?

[Anonymous] [bo]heh

[Bo] he's barelly alive

[Cursor] Good.

[Anonymous] [Bo] i like bare people

[Maladroit] is he bare or is he alive?-

[Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.

[Bo] he's not bare yet...he plans to take a bath later!

[Maladroit] let all know when u do that-

[Bo] he might bare his teeth tho!

[Bo] and y wud i mala?

[Maladroit] coz i am bored of seeing u alive-

[Silver] Well, if he's bare, he'll haveta die

[Bo] u r??

[Anonymous] [Bo] I wanna have a bath too and all the bathrooms are full except one...

[Bo] whou!!

[Bo] wow...anon...u use a lot of logic in life

[Cursor] Where's Silver? Taking too much time to change!

[Silver] lol, here i am

[Cursor] Aha.

[Silver] hub hates me

[Anonymous] [Bo] Is that a yes...

[Cursor] Heh.

[Maladroit] ur face value is increasing silver-

[Silver] I got already 2 spam warnings

[Bo] ah..i thot he had returned bak to normal state from excited state

[Silver] Ohk

[Silver] Fine.

[Bo] heh

[Silver] [Platinum] Fine

[Cursor] Ugh.

[Silver]

- [singla] SpamWarning 3: MainChat spam abuse

[Cursor] Heh.

[Cursor] Rofl.

[Cursor] I've never had that one..

[Maladroit] how the F*** do u do that?-

[Silver] lol, I insult the hub

[Anonymous] [Silver] [Platinum] [Diamond] Fine

[Silver] it gives me that

[Silver] Like, say "*f-word* the hub 5 times consecutively

[Silver] *f-word* the hub

[Silver] *f-word* the hub

[Maladroit] let me try that-

[Anonymous] [Silver] *f-word* the hub

[Anonymous] [Silver] *f-word* the hub

[Anonymous] [Silver] *f-word* the hub

[Silver] quickly man

[Anonymous] thats five

[Silver] lol

[Silver] [Anonymous] [Silver] *f-word* the hub

[Silver] [Anonymous] [Silver] *f-word* the hub

[Silver] [Anonymous] [Silver] *f-word* the hub

[Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.[Cursor] Heh.[Cursor] Heh.[Cursor] Heh.[Cursor] Heh.

[Cursor] Sahi.

[Bo] wot the f-word is the spam warning anyway?

[Silver] wtf

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Galat

[Cursor] Lol. It'll be programmed to kick our Hehers after December.

[Maladroit] i didnt get any spam warning-

[Cursor] Maaro!

[Bo] kill

[Cursor] Heh.

[Silver] lol, I told ya, the hub hates ME

[Cursor] Yeah. That too.

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Meri Maaro!

[Cursor] Heh.

[Silver] one sex

[Silver] *sec

[Silver] I show you pic

[Maladroit] hub f***in hates him-

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Maaro!

[Cursor] Rofl.

[Bo] cursor..does tht lan wire still luv u?

[Cursor] Oh yeah..

[Bo] u been singing with it??

[Maladroit] so where is it? is it part of u now?-

[Bo] man...poor roommate of urs

[Anonymous] [Bo] Plz teach me to love a lan wire

[Silver] lol, sing with it man

[Cursor] I've been training it to behave.

[Silver] similar to toilet training?

[Bo] [anonymous]i don't sing with the lan wire,i do other 'things'

[Anonymous] for the gb inmates

[Cursor] Right.

[Anonymous] they lack "dil***"

[Bo] ask it to SIT

[Cursor] Except that I skipped the roll over part.

[Bo] and then give a paw

[Silver] [Bo] ask it to SHIT

[grass] http://rapidshare.com/files/2862827/Comanche.4.part10.rar.html

[Bo] [silver]ask it to sing

[Silver] La la la

[Maladroit] who is grass?-

[grass] http://www.warezdownloads.info/ddlout.php?i=115674

[Silver] a guy eaten by cow?

[Bo] hmmm...he's cud to a cow

[Silver] heh, great minds think alike

[Bo] lol...

[Bo] maybe,he is on a higher plane than all of us

[Silver] grass: Sumthing which you eat, you will puke.

[Bo] the grass was greener

[Maladroit] ok i get the "hang " of it!-

[Anonymous] [Silver] grass: Sumthing which you smoke, you will enjoy.

[Silver] [Anonymous] [Silver] grass: Sumthing which you smoke, you will get destroyed

[Anonymous] [Bo] the grass IS greener

[Silver] on which side man?

[Maladroit] always on the other side-

[Bo] grasshopper: something which walks on grass

[Silver] hopper: sumthing that hops!

[Maladroit] it actually hops-didnt u know?-

[Bo] when it isn't hopping tht is

[Anonymous] [Silver] on the flipsyde?

[Maladroit] i thought it only hopped-

[Bo] obviously it walks when not hopping

[Silver] lol, its called grasswalker than?

[Anonymous] no i thought they were learning to fly

[Bo] or they ver comfortably numb

[Maladroit] no it will be called "grass-walk when not hop-er"-

[Bo] maybe they wished u ver ther

[Anonymous] if a grasshopper runs its called a grassblade runner

[Bo] tht was saaad

[Silver] Grassblade runner: A runner who sticks a blade of grass up his behind.

[Neeraj] YESSSAAAAAAAAAA BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[Anonymous] [Cursor]Hey you

[Neeraj] IS THE

[Neeraj] RE A

[Bo] hmmm

[Neeraj] NY

[Silver] wazzzzup, the guy loves caps

[Neeraj] WHO ASHI?

[Maladroit] whats up with neeraj and his capitals?-

[Cursor] Hey you you.

[Silver] try hats on sumtimes as well.

[Neeraj] hey kewl

[Anonymous] [Neeraj] I am a master at "master******"

[Silver] lol

[Neeraj] eeeeeee

[Cursor] Ugh.

[Neeraj] who are these wierdos speakin wired stuff

[Bo] maybe some1 is torturing him

[Neeraj] uuuuuuu

[Bo] go save neeraj!

[Cursor] Rofl.

[Neeraj] give me the name

[Maladroit] ahoy!-

[Maladroit] here i come-

[Cursor] Anony! Do you job!

[Anonymous] neeraj im cuming

[Cursor] *your

[Cursor] Blink blink.

[Bo] [anonymous]have no fear,i'm here..

[Neeraj] ok anonymous stop usin the laptop underme

[Neeraj] i cant contorl

[Maladroit] lose control!-

[Neeraj] okkkkk

[Cursor] ContORl you should!

[Neeraj] sry anony

[Bo] hmmm...ask anonymous to control

[Neeraj] but ur cummed

[Anonymous] [Neeraj]Im the laptop and u are using me

[Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymous] I was Cummed

[Silver] Anonymous: control. See, asked.

[Neeraj] sad ass

[Bo] [neeraj]laptop is gay

[Cursor] How the?

[Anonymous] now im free for a second run

[Maladroit] control alt delete-

[Neeraj] [bo] , i like to copy fake stuff , coz im a fake dick

[Bo] cool..start running..i'll time u

[Silver] The hockey court is waiting

[Anonymous] [Neeraj]What is ur rate?

[Bo] [neeraj]i am a dick

[Cursor] [Anonymous] Ouch! Stop it Neeraj!

[Neeraj] [bo] i luv dick , but i want one

[Neeraj] lol k

[Maladroit] hey did u all forget that bo is getting bare soon?-

[Anonymous] [bo] u can have mine

[Neeraj] fine , do i know u guys?

[Cursor] Yeah! In two more hours, eh, Bo?

[Maladroit] does it matter?-

[Anonymous] [bo] mine is a fake but a reaal good one

[Maladroit] neeraj?-

[Neeraj] yea it does

[Bo] [anonymous]i'm gay

[Cursor] Heh.

[Silver] [bo] I know that becos?

[Neeraj] k,,, so all ur exams got over eh?

[Anonymous] [Bo] i'm gay too

[Bo] [bo]aliver told me he's gay with anon

[Neeraj] hey theres a dota server , guys join

[Bo] [bo]make tht silver

[Anonymous] [bo] so lets do it

[Silver] Cool, bo-gay man

[Bo] silver: the bright moron

[Anonymous] [Silver] Wanna cum tonight

[Anonymous] to nc

[Bo] [anonymous]yess

[Cursor] Heh.

[Silver] [Anonymous] [Silver] Wanna cum tonight, not with anon.

[Maladroit] cursor knows his art of interrupting-

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.........Heeeeeeeh.............Heeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........................

[Cursor] Rofl!

[Bo] does cursor go heh in class too?

[Maladroit] u dont wanna know-

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.

[Cursor] Skipped two classes.

[Bo] prof: wot r u doin? cursor : heh

[Silver] Prof: You know the answer cursor?

Cursor: heh....heh

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.

[Maladroit] rofl-

[Maladroit] how does that cursor laugh?-

[Silver] heh?

[Anonymous] [cursor]to get good marks did this to the prof Heh.........Heeeeeeeh.............Heeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........................

[Cursor] Heh.

[Silver] lol

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.

[Bo] when he's humping,he'd go...heh heh heh heh heh

[Cursor] Hahahah!

[Maladroit] how do u know bo]?-

[Anonymous] When he is cuming Heh.........Heeeeeeeh.............Heeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........................

[Maladroit] were u very close then?-

[Bo] it's called asumption boy

[Cursor] Ahem. -cough- -chokes--dies-

[Silver] now he's bare

[Cursor] Who's assumption boy?

[Anonymous] [cursot]heh

[Cursor] Ack!!

[Bo] [cursor]i'm a dimwit

[Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.

[Maladroit] hey cursor u rock man-

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.

[Bo] rock??

[Silver] ROFLCOPTER

[Cursor] Woah. Whaa??

[Maladroit] oops sorry-

[Maladroit] cursor u heh man-

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Im so horny ....I wanna heh

[Cursor] Ah, better.

[Silver] roflcar

[Bo] doesn't any1 have exams tomm?

[Cursor] Gah. That's picked up as well?

[Cursor] Yup. I do.

[Silver] congrats

[Cursor] Strength of Materials.

[Anonymous] [Cursor]

[Cursor] Yay!

[Silver] Hattricks on u

[Cursor] Thanks.

[Bo] and the prize goes to

[Bo] ....

[Anonymous] [Cursor] heh

[Silver] lol, the strength of mech paper

[Cursor] I'd like to thank Anony for the great Heh.........Heeeeeeeh.............Heeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........................

[Silver] What is the strength of iron: heh

Does still bend: heh

Do I know the correct answer: heh

Name: heh

[Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymous] [Bo] when i become angry 'red' i get 'Bo-red'

[Cursor] Lamo.

[Cursor] *Lmao. Gah.

[Bo] sad joke

[Cursor] Oh.. joke? Where? Where?

[Silver] gawk.

[Bo] behind u

[Cursor] Heh.

[Cursor] w00t!

[Silver] [Cursor] Heh.

[Cursor] And again.. and again.. :-@

[Cursor] =@ Aha.

[Bo] [cursor]i can't find him...i think joke ran away

[Anonymous] [Silver] [Cursor] Heh.

[Maladroit] i got dc-

[Cursor] Good to know. They somehow behave that way when I'm around.

[Cursor] Welcome back!

[Maladroit] than u than u-

[Anonymous] [Maladroit] heh

[Maladroit] wtf happened to my k?-

[Anonymous] k?

[Silver] its after the j

[Cursor] Anony's been messing you you K.

[Cursor] *with your.

[Anonymous] [Cursor] heh

[Cursor] X_X

[Bo] okay guys...i better b goin...i gotta study a bit...

[Anonymous] x_x

[Cursor] Noooooooo!

[Bo] cya all at nite...we can close the hub with sad jokes

[Maladroit] hey bo reveal thyself and leave-

[Silver] noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Anonymous] [Cursor] x_x

[Bo] and make it memorable!!

[Cursor] Last day for the hub, Bo!

[Maladroit] -

[Silver] Bo studies, oh.......

[Silver] For what man

[Bo] ya..bo is a nerd

[Cursor] Happy holidays.

[Maladroit] a hairy nerd-

[Silver] The papers so easy that you actually haveta study to fail.

[Silver] ?

[Anonymous] Bo-seDK

[Cursor] Eh? Wha?? @ Anony.

[Bo] hehe...not tomorrow's exam...i wanna get up for lunch tomm

[Anonymous] [Anonymous] Bo-seDK

[Cursor] Heh.

[Bo] heh...

[Maladroit] reveal thyself bo-

[Bo] okay all...miss you all..b gud in the hols!!

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Heh.

- [Bo] heh.

[Maladroit] see u at palace grounds-

[Cursor] See you then, Bo.

[Maladroit] in front of deep purple-

[Bo] [anonymous]i'll surely b happy and gay

[Cursor] Yup. Me too.

[Silver] adios and happy holidays

[Bo] yup..cya at palace grounds...lemme kno if u get passes maladoit

[Maladroit] i guess i have to pass tomo-

[Anonymous] Anyone wanna spend the entire nite exercising plz contact me at the gay bar

[Bo] heh!

[Silver] lol

[Cursor] Is it a treat?

[Bo] u have a gym there?

[Silver] highly specific in nature

[Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymous] Yep one that u wont forget

[Cursor] Sure. Bo is UP for it.

[Bo] for water sports and high impact sports only

[Anonymous] Ill show u what a pain in the ass i am quite literally

[Bo] haha...

[Cursor] He's all yours.

[Silver] boom.

[Bo] i'm not...bo is straight!!

[Maladroit] bo is stratight?-

[Cursor] But anony is not!

[Bo] cursor can blink away all night without stopping

[Maladroit] so when is he getting bare?-

[Cursor] Rofl!

[Silver] [Bo] i'm not...bo is gay!!!!!

[Anonymous] [Bo] im coming 'straight 'to you sorry 'gay 'to you

[Bo] maladoit...ur gay too

[Cursor] False claims!

[Bo] anonymous...meet galadoit...he's gay

[Silver] any lesbos from gb around?

[Cursor] Rofl.

[Silver] need cure need cure

[Maladroit] hey they dont help our cause

[Anonymous] [Im ] BI

[Bo] haha...

[Maladroit] lesbos dont serve our needs-

[Bo] donate to the sperm bank for a productive cause

[Cursor] Right.

[Anonymous] reproductive cause

[Cursor] Right.

[Maladroit] heh-

[Bo] thtz wot production is about

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Right.heh

[Silver] Cause: Give a mini bo?

[Silver] heh

[Maladroit] what is the best thing i like abt babies?-

[Cursor] ...

[Anonymous] [Cursor]heh

[Silver] underage porn? sicko..

[Cursor] Small dicks?

[Bo] if mini bo is fat,the process will b called mass production

[Cursor] x_X

[Anonymous] tight cunts

[Cursor] Gah. You're cruel!!

[Maladroit] god damn it!-

[Anonymous] [Cursor] X_x

[Cursor] Its not your nature to go for cunts, Anony!

[Anonymous] also cute nipples

[Maladroit] is bo around?-

[Anonymous] right im talking about boys

[Cursor] Heh. Answer please, Maladroit.

[Silver] lol, BO! Bo? guy? huh, HE is gay. Not she is gay

[Bo] i have learnt a lot frm anon

[Maladroit] the best thing i like abt babies:-

[Maladroit] making them!-

[Silver] rofl

[Bo] u make babies with wot??clay?

[Cursor] Heh.

[Anonymous] im the master of every 'thing'

[Cursor] Great.

[Bo] ur a master of silver too??it's a thing

[Maladroit] let ur imagination run wild-

[Anonymous] [Cursor]not Great. loooooong

[Silver] ah..... lustre is inprisonable

[Cursor] Aha.

[Bo] hehe...okay all...i shall b off...!!

[Bo] adios...

[Anonymous] nope master of 'batter'

[Silver] Adios bare bo.

[Maladroit] bo off-

[Cursor] See you!

[Cursor] Ta.

[Maladroit] good sleep man-

[Bo] and plz kick biswas a little extra..courtesy Bo

[Anonymous] let me see u bare Bo

[Cursor] Right.

[Bo] i'll b bak at 1!!

[Maladroit] reveal thyself b4 leaving bo-

[Cursor] Back at 1?

[Bo] balls..

[Silver] Ah.... back at 1

[Cursor] Good.

[Silver] Cool, let ppl download their porn till then I guess

[Cursor] Reveal the balls later,

[Anonymous] Bo has to do something with balls

[Bo] i'll inaugrate the new year's hub with my name

[Bo] ya..i play football...on the football field with a ball

[Silver] Bo's hub..... imagination

[Silver] Users: gay 1

Gay 2

[Anonymous] new hub Bo balls

[Cursor] Gah. 1 = Jan 1?

[Silver] etc etc

[Anonymous] And MasterBatter

[Bo] silver's hub...

[Bo] scary gurl 1

[Bo] lesbo fat gurl 2

[Cursor] Heh.

[Silver] COOOL

[Anonymous] underage girl 1

[Cursor] Heh.

[Bo] gurl 3..wait...i mean 75%gurl

[Anonymous] underage gay boy 1

[Silver] NO....

[Silver] thats for anon only

[Cursor] Yup.

[Bo] hehe...u can share with him silver

[Cursor] Second that,

[Cursor] Heh.

[Silver] we'll call the girl pulsor

[Anonymous] thanx guys to let it for me only

[Bo] friends share

[Maladroit] i will videotape it all-

[Cursor] Ugh.

[Bo] ewwww

[Cursor] Pulsor who?

[scorpio] mvcmb

[Silver] Definately male

[Bo] adios!!

[Silver] adiosway

[Silver] no 3

[Cursor] See you!

[Anonymous] ill share the gay underage boy 1 on dc++

[Maladroit] cya bo-

[Cursor] No. 3 is right.

[Cursor] -silence0

[Cursor] -

[Cursor] -more silence0

[Silver] Slient_Force?

[Cursor] Gah.

[Cursor] Where?

[Cursor] Blink.

[Anonymous] cum back on dc++ to meet the underage boy 1 later next sem

[Silver] he's stash's reduced like crazy. 50 GB only?

[Cursor] Who does he think he is to do that??

[Silver] heh

[Anonymous] Silent+Force

[Silver] Porn freak doesnt cheat us all tho

[Anonymous] [Cursor] Great.

[Maladroit] porn freak also has cheated us-

[Silver] what!!

[Zealot] 4400 3rd season ne1?

[Maladroit] there is no porn in his porn collection-

[Silver] I have most porn then

[Silver] shit

[Anonymous] Does porn freak have underage gay boy porn

[Silver] actually, he did have underage alot

[Silver] kinda made me sick.

[Anonymous] c ya guys i dont want a hattrick

[Anonymous] bye

[Silver] adios

[Anonymous] Screw you guys im going home

[Cursor] Heh.

[Cursor] Screw well.

[Maladroit] guess what?-

[Anonymous] OR Screw you gays im going home

[Maladroit] i got some shocker of a news b4 i leave-

[Anonymous] OR Screw you gays im going to hump you

[Cursor] What news?

[Anonymous] news wagon

[Maladroit] that anonymous and maladroit are roomies!-

[Silver] heh... cool

[Anonymous] we are mates

[Silver] I believe talking was popular as well.

[Maladroit] where is cursor?-

[Silver] hehhinng...?

[Anonymous] he is blinking

[Cursor] Phone call.

[Silver] [Cursor] Blink, heh. Blink, heh

[Maladroit] dude u even talk?-

[Anonymous] he is with me in b/w heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

[Silver] w....o......r......d

[shanky] *************

[Silver] lol

[SKD] hehe.....n1 ma8

[Silver] shanky

[Silver] yo, neighbour

[Zealot] is it 18 or 411]]

[Zealot] ?

[Maladroit] 18

[Zealot] k

[SKD] den whts da 411 fur

[shanky] **************************

[Maladroit] hey shanky u make me sick-

[Anonymous] **************************

[Silver] lol, pass to anon

[Silver] lol.

[Anonymous] thahx silver

[Silver] heh...

[Silver] soz

[Anonymous] [Silver] heh...

[shanky] maladroit u wastage go *f-word* the dogs outside

[Silver] thank god for the filter

[Anonymous] i want the dogs too

[Silver] my my

[Maladroit] dude the dogs have enough company-

[Maladroit] i counted 7 dogs and 6 bitches last night-

[Silver] shanky was the last bitch

[Anonymous] and i satisfied them all

[Anonymous] with food

[Maladroit] ya i remember seeing him-

[Maladroit] guys i am moving out-

[Silver] kinda reminded me of that small bitch who keeps trying to get humped.

[Silver] heh

[Maladroit] ya i thought that was shanky-

[Silver] kinda would have hard time typing the *f-word* he typed

[Anonymous] ok im leaving all u gays out there mail me at *f-word*.com

[Silver] fine, f-word.com it is

[shanky] silver u surathkal whore

[Maladroit] cool down da shanky-

[shanky] cheapest whore oin this district

[Silver] ah....

[shanky] *f-word* u all

[Silver] you will do that wouldnt you

[Maladroit] go study for tomo's tele switch exam-

[Silver] please oblige

[Anonymous] *f-word*

[Maladroit] *f-word*-

[shanky] i dont need 2 listen to shit from u

[Maladroit] shanky go study

[shanky] u *f-word* stunted dwarf

[Silver] ending with a positive note ey... cool.

[shanky] positive ...

[shanky] *f-word* u and ur positives

[Maladroit] hiv +ve-

[shanky] hahaha .. *f-word* u wastage

[shanky] maladroit who the *f-word* are u

[Silver] luv filter.

And so as the conversation became very vulgar due to [Shanky's] presence, I closed the chat and went to study for the exams that i had the next day. But i will always remember the entire chat...one of the best times of my life!-

[Cursor] Heh!

Like I said, I dont want you to frame any opinion about me by reading this. This is just another day in a hostel. You will know when you stay in a hostel like this once....

Of Blood and Birthday - I

To be frank, this blog should have been put up some 3 weeks back. But me being me, I just kept on postponing things. And so in the end here I am actually typing this thing on my computer. So I am 21 now. Celebrated my birthday on 26^th last month- October that is. What took place that day was not something that I would have really anticipated. It was completely incongruous. But I guess that’s what made this birthday somewhat different. So here is what happened that day.

I was awake when the clock struck 12. A couple of my friends called me then. Then before I wished myself, I knew that I had to listen to some proper music that would really fit the mood and situation I was in. So there I was in my home, alone in the living room while my parents were sleeping upstairs. And I put in my Pink Floyd CD and listened to “TIME”. Just lost myself in the leads and in the lyrics. And as the song came to an end, I was no longer feeling that void in me. And then I went to sleep.

Morning came and all those whom I expected to wish me, called me and wished me. And I was happy about that. There were some, about whom I had just given a thought. And wondered what they would be thinking about me on that day. I was wondering because they were the people who I knew would not be calling.

But that was not my concern. My concern was the fact that I had absolutely nothing planned for that day. Nothing at all. No meeting up with friends. Nothing whatsoever. Ok my aunt and her family were going to come in the evening and we were going to cut my cake. But when it came to the day, I had nothing on my mind. So I called up my friend and he asked me to come to his college in the afternoon.

And so I went there and I met him and I met a few of my old friends from my Joseph’s PU College. And I was really happy to meet all of them. I went for a small treat with him and that was it. I came back home. There was nothing that I did apart from that. And so I waited for the evening. And it came. And my mom was preparing a special dinner. My dad was on his way and my grandparents would be coming soon and my aunt would be a bit late. And then something happened.

Never Before and Never Ever.....

Warning: The Following is a very large blog. So if you dont have the patience to read the entire thing, please go to the next blog post.

So again, stating a fact, Michel Schumacher will not be driving his Ferrari in F1 anymore. One more fact is that I have been a Schumi fan ever since I first started to watch F1. I really cannot point out what exactly it was that drew me to him. I wont say it was his style of driving or anything because I was not analyzing F1 professionally. It was just that I liked him- probably for the fact that he was trying to win his first title with Ferrari ever since he joined. I still remember the race- it was the Monaco Grand Prix of the 2000 season. That was when I started watching F1. I don’t exactly recollect the results. But all I remember is that I knew who I was going to be supporting from then on.

And what a journey it has been. I still remember the way Michael broke down into tears at Monza in the 2000 season. I still remember him coming in front of Mika Hakkinen after the second round of pit stops in the final Japanese Grand Prix that season. I still remember him almost driving over the grass when he lost control on his slowing down lap after that win because he had just put his head in his hands and was crying. I still remember the way he overcame an initial fight by Coulthard to take the second Championship in a row. I still remember all those memorable Hakkinen- Schumi fights that took place all the year through. I still remember that Spanish Grand Prix when Hakkinen was leading Schumi by over 50 seconds into the final lap and Schumi having to go a bit slow as his car was not perfect and then next thing I see is Hakkinen’s car just blowing up with less than half a lap to go. And then I still remember the way I celebrated that night- I in fact have a recording of the commentary when the blow up took place. But of course one cant deny Hakkinen making “that” move on Michael at Spa with Ricardo Zonta lurking in front of them both. That was simply put a magnificent race for Mika. I guess Mika will always be remembered for that move on Michael.

And of course I still remembered the day his mother passed away and he didn’t celebrate his race victory. And I still remember the way he stamped his authority over each and every driver on the circuit. All the others were made to look like just pawns on the chess board where he laid down the rules. So there came another title and then another. Some began to question his age and said that he should be retiring. Michael knew better. Instead he fought on the likes of Raikkonen and Montoya. Though initially it promised to be a close contest, in the end Michael just made sure that it was nowhere close to what they must have thought of. In fact I remember distinctly something Kimi said in some interview after the season in which he came second. He said, “Sometimes I think I am going to win all the races!” Now that is something I would like to see!

And so after 5 years of the undisputed reign of the Prancing Horses, I guess it was time the others woke up and did something about the Monopoly. And so came Renault and Mclaren. And Ferrari was left dreaming about what was going to happen. It was the worst season ever for Ferrari since a long time, producing only one win and that too in that Indianapolis Fiasco. But all said and done, it was good to see Alonso come up with some scintillating performances. For that season I have to say he was the deserved Champion.

But come 2006 and things changed big time. Ferrari were back. But it took them some time in catching up with the pace of Renault. And at one point, Schumi was like 25 points behind Alonso. And then something happened that could have been called anything short of a miracle. But no! It was not a miracle. It was a phenomenon called Michael Schumacher!

That drive at San Marino and the subsequent wins took him at sniffing distance to Alonso. And then when he announced his retirement, I was almost on the verge of tears. I just prayed that he would change his decision though deep inside I knew that nothing like that would ever happen. And of course, then eventually he caught up with Alonso and then all of us know what happened in that penultimate Grand Prix. Schumi leading with 15 laps to go and his engine gives way.

That was one of the real heart breaking moments for me in quite some time. I felt more disappointed than what I felt when I had to end my relationship with someone close to me. It was like the end of the road. The end of all hopes. For a few moments it was as if the world came to a stand still. And when I got back to reality I realized that it was indeed over. The last race was just a formality. But what was I to feel? I don’t know what I felt but what I do remember is that I didn’t make any effort to feel at all.

And when I saw that he was going to start from 10^th on the grid, I felt really depressed. Ferrari had a great package that day at Interlagos. And when I saw Michael overtake Fischichella for 5^th place, my heart leapt only to skip a beat when his tyre got punctured. And he went into the pits and came out at the dead end of the field. And what happened in the next 1 hour or so can only be called as miraculous or in his case, just a Michael Schumacher. He ran through the track like a blazing rocket- a rocket with a purpose. There was no one that could match his place. There he was in 13^th place and he was setting fastest laps- lap after lap. Clearly the fastest on the track. And then as people came out of their second pit stop, Michael was already where he was before, and pushing. A few drivers tried to hold him back- Pffft- just a couple of laps at the max. Robert Doornbos will remember doing the most noble thing ever done- letting Michael go through without a damn fight! And then he runs into Barrichello. The BAR Honda team reminds Rubens that he is still “racing Michael”! Like it would make a difference! 2 laps and then Michael was past Rubens. Next stop: Fischichella! He makes his first attempt at overtaking in the first corner but somehow Gincarlo wards it off. And then came the second attempt. And it was then that you could see the disparity in driving between the veteran and any other. Michael simply pushed him hard. And all Gincarlo could do was to brake late- in fact a bit too late. And he had a grassy moment, letting Michael go through. So there it was 4 laps to go and Michael was in 5^th place 8 seconds behind Raikkonen, the man replacing him next season at Ferrari. And needless to say Michael was still charging. God help Kimi! I watched as he chipped away the gap into the Finn’s Mclaren and immediately posed a challenge for the 4^th place.

Anybody in their right frame of mind would settle for 5^th place when you have a Mclaren in front of you and when you have just about 3 mm space to pull off your overtaking. But you see this rule applies only to humans. Not to Michael Schumacher! He simply threw his car into that 3 mm space- sandwiched between the Mclaren and the pit board wall. And he pulls it off! Kimi is left gaping at that piece of magic that was just performed on him by the man he was going to replace next season. And there you had it, simply put, the greatest overtaking move ever seen!

Probably it was the occasion, or probably it was because it was Ferrari vs Mclaren or probably because it was Schumi’s last overtaking move that anyone would ever see. But whatever be the opinion, “THAT move” simply epitomized Michael’s entire career. Fernando rightly said in the press conference that day that winning the championship with Michael competing you is something worthy and that the converse was also true. And he agreed that he had been extremely lucky that he could do it twice. Damn right!

But whatever be the opinions of all the people around the world, it is simply imperative to believe that F1 can never be the same without him. That someone will come first in a race simply because someone has to and that someone will win the world Championship simply because someone has to.

And in all that time, I can atleast be happy that someday I can proudly tell my children and grandchildren that I was there when Michael won his first title with Ferrari and I can proudly say that I was there when Michael pulled off “that move” over Kimi with 4 laps to go in his career.

There never was and will never be anybody like Michael Schumacher.

Another Year Down the Drain (???)

Ok. So I celebrated my 21^st birthday on the 26^th of October, that is, just a few days back. Whoever I expected to wish me did so. And I dont ask for anything more.Ya so it also simply means that I am 21 years old. And it also means that I am one more year older since my birth and more importantly, that I am one more year closer to my death. I was just thinking about all the things that I had promised myself that I would be doing in my 21^st year and all the things that I finally didn’t end up doing. And when I compared them, I found that the lists were simply matching to perfection.

I had simply done nothing that I had promised myself that I would on my 20^th birthday. But at the same time I did a lot of things that I hadn’t promised myself. And that’s a lot. My 21^st year was the abode to my worst semester for more than one reason. But in the end there were quite a lot of things that I rather think about than all those horrible things that I happened to do in that one horrible semester. Of course there will always be things that simply happen by themselves and you don’t have to do anything about it. All you have to do is to just allow it to happen. And there were many things that just “happened”.

The following are some of the more relevant things that just “happened”:

1) I grew by one more year.

2) I passed in two semesters.

3) I ended a close friendship with my school mate. ( For more info, read ‘Requiem for the past’)

4) My holidays got wasted.

5) I got internet in my hostel room.

6) I got my Driver’s License for car and two wheeler.

7) I made one new friend.

8) A lot of similar stuff…….

Ok so there you had it. Some of the relevant things that just happened to have happened. Now I will be giving you a list of all those things that I did and that really mattered. Now before I tell you those things, there is still something that I did that has simply changed the very way I think. And if it wasn’t for it, I would have still be living life thinking that we are going to die anyway, so why bother achieve anything now.

I read The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. And trust me, there has been nothing more influential to me than what was conveyed in those two books. It is simply not enough that I just make a mention about it in this blog. I will be writing a complete blog just about that soon. And it will be something that will define me.

And for all the other stuff that I “did” in my 21^st year, here is the list:

1) I have now become part of something that has the potential to become something big in the near future.

2) I finally finished my original work that I had been secretly working on for the past few months.

3) I smiled because I had in my hands something that was mine- something that was completely from my own thinking.

4) I have more or less decided that I will be pursuing soil engineering for my higher studies.

5) I realized that I am more happy here with my new group of friends than what I was in my previous academic year.

6) And in the end I realized that preparation really pays.

This is not one of the better blogs that I have written. But I just have a lot of things to say. This was just the beginning of the many blogs that I will be writing within this week.

Like I said, there are many things that just happen and there are many things that you make happen. And life is all about having both of them in the right proportions.

Another year down the drain? I will leave it to you to figure out. But whatever may have happened in my 21^st year, one thing that I am damn sure about is that I am atleast, much much wiser than what I was one year back. And I will definitely gain a lot from that.

22^nd year is already under way. But what does it mean? Or rather, what will I make it mean?

Whatever it be, it wont be another year down the drain next time on….

Happens...

I have formally made up my mind that, henceforth, I will only be dealing with facts and nothing else. Ok this is nothing new to all my esteemed readers (which basically includes me and you-and you might actually be me). Ah chuck it! I cant even talk sense. Forget trying to make sense of what I talk. And now I am here trying to type a blog and I really don’t know what sense I will be able to make at the end of the post. I really can’t think of anything sensible to make sense of right now as I am feeling really sleepy. But I promised myself that I would be putting up some blog today before evening. So here I am. Trying to type a blog.

So all I will do this time is to just sum up certain facts of life (mine that is-after all this is my blog). Just a few things that seemed to have just “happened”. Don’t know why or how, they just seem to have happened. And so, in no particular order, here it goes.

1) My mid sem exams are over. You are free to infer whatever you want from this.

2) I have begun to play a lot of quake- especially with my room mate. Its mainly just to train myself. I basically suck big time at quake. So I am just trying to improve myself. “Practice makes Perfect” you see…..

3) Today I will begin my movie marathon alongwith my roommate. We will be watching atleast some 4-5 movies daily and about 7-8 on weekends.

4) My close classmate has begun to smoke. Well he actually has a crush on this female but he doesn’t have the balls to go talk to her. (Hey sorry dude, I have just stated a fact-that’s all)

5) My mom called me some 4 times in one day.

6) One day before that, some arbit muslim guy happened to crash into some arbit hindu’s vehicle and kill him in the process. And very conveniently that arbit muslim guy was illegally transporting cattle. So no need to explain what came next.

7) My close friend’s birthday took place. I did not forget to wish her.

8) I listened to all my favourite Pink Floyd songs last night.

9) I read someone’s blog.

10) I am right now just writing some non-sense. Nothing more.

God help me and god help all those who have read this blog till now. I do not wish to further humiliate you. So this is officially the last sentence of this blog post.

Come to think of it, I really don't know how blogging is helping me. Ok all that banter about me getting to express myself and air my own views is all fine. But how is it actually helping me?

So last week I came up with this idea as to how I can actually use blogging to my benefit. So here is my plan.

You see, I am one among the significant minority of the Indian Undergraduate student community who aspire for higher studies in their respective fields. And so this inevitably implies that I have to write the GRE. And as far as I know, I need to have a strong vocablulary to actually have any hopes of cracking it.

And thats where Blogspot comes into play. Since I have this unexplained (and sometimes unreasonable) passion for blogging, I thought I might as well use this as part of my preparation for the GRE. And how exactly is it going to happen?

Thats where my imagination kicked in.
Now you see I have been learning all these new words from all these "Improve Your Vocabulary" books that my vocabulary has significantly increased. Now I also know that its not just about having a good vocabulary that matters but it is also how you make use of it. So this is what I am going to do:
Every time I sit to type a blog, I will take a list of words that I have newly got acquainted with. Then I will take some totally arbit situation which I am quite familiar with. And then I will type a blog about that situation. But the catch here is that come what may, I will somehow have to throw in those new words in the blog and still try to maintain some sense in it!
So in that way I will be using those new words in some relavent(?????) context and at the same time I would have written one more blog.

Two kills with one shot-eh? (What say you?)

So henceforth you will find a lot of posts that will have a lot more English vocabulary. But I cannot say anything about the content( or the lack of it)!

MS, here I come!!!

PS: "Rectilinear Redemption" is NOT part of my vocabulary.

All The Damn Wait.....

And finally i get internet in the hostel room itself. The much awaited entry of net into our sacred rooms is finally over. Now everyone can get spoilt.
Not Me!
I will be very careful as to what i surf and when i surf i will make sure that i wont be wasting my time. I will not surf anything that is beyind my necessity. I will use it for constructive purposes only.
Ok fact is that i will be blogging more often than b4. But right now i have to study 4 my exams that will end on monday. So till then tata.

By the way this is one more blog